Amusements and Worries

1. so lately i've been amusing myself by playing card-jitsu on club penguin or biggest brain, word challenge, or geo challenge on facebook. amusement is a beautiful thing. and if i'm actually using my mind in the process, all the better.

2. i seriously need to exercise. no, not to lose weight, just to shape up after all my recent weight gain. but i've been lazy and i keep putting it off. maybe tomorrow?

3. found this bible reading plan on youversion.com which i've been following. it's pretty good cuz it takes you through the old testment once and the new testament twice in a year. and there are three different portions of manageable length so i've been able to keep up. it's cool cuz you can just go on the website and it links to the reading for that day and you can read it right on there and it takes maybe five or ten minutes.

4. there are some days i worry and fret over the move to toronto. am i ready to be by myself? will i be able to support myself? what if it ends up being a huge mistake? will i be able to adjust to not having the comforts of home? sure, i did have similar worries before i went to india but there was that feeling of "this is what God wants me to do" that overpowered all my fears and gave me strength to grit my teeth and make it work. toronto, on the other hand, is just a thing to do. not something i thought long and hard about and waited for years to make happen and i don't really have any clue whether it's what God wants, it's just what my mom said okay to. i know i have to be mature and take responsibility for my actions and pray about this stuff and not blame someone else if i'm not in the right place. but you know what, i tried the praying about it method and it didn't do me a whole lota good, only caused a whole bunch of sorrow and regret. so i'm gonna go with whatever mom's agreeing to at the moment. it's funny cuz it was just a passing remark i made to christine one day and i ended up actually looking into it just for the heck of it and now i'm almost there. crazy how life works. where's God in all this? maybe He's the invisible hand orchestrating all of it. i have no idea. i don't know what He does or doesn't want... i just pray that somehow, by His grace, with or without knowing it, i would be in His will and not wandering aimlessly, even though most of my life has felt like the latter.