Will Fly Again

So I always thought that family would be the people who were going to be there for you always, stick by you through thick and thin, wrestle through the difficult times, laugh through the joyful times, love you for who you are, and generally just be a support even when no one else in this world thinks you're worth supporting. This too, along with many other such notions that I conjured up in childhood, is mistaken. I never realized that family will only love and support in so far as you follow their prescribed plan and method of doing life. Why did it take me this long to find out? Because it took me this long to finally want to do my own thing. It's misleading when they say they love you, when they tell you that they trust you, when they urge you follow your dreams which in reality are their dreams. If you're lucky, your dreams will be similar to what they want for you. Otherwise, you've got a tough and lonely road ahead of you. The very people who love you to death can disown you in their next breath, so don't depend on anyone. And I say that in all seriousness without any exaggeration. It's one thing to say "Beni, we don't like the decision you're making, but we're here for you no matter what you choose." At least I can appreciate that. But saying "Beni, we don't like the decision you're making and therefore we deem you incapable of making decisions" is hurtful. I know you want to clip my wings so that I don't fly away, but they'll grow back, even if it takes months or years. And maybe I've lost my confidence and drive for now, but I'll regain it eventually in some measure. And one beautiful day, this handicapped bird will take flight, even if it means flying alone.

But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Take note: eagles fly alone.