1. tuesday was my not very anticipated birthday. woke up to breakfast in bed courtesy of niki and mom, and went out to dinner with mom, niki, anisha and nitisha. after dinner, the girls slept over and we stayed up talking until 6am. had a heart to heart with niki which was good. in addition, it was probably the first time nitisha and i sat down and had a conversation. anisha and i had fun like always. i woke up with her sleeping next to me on my single bed.
2. i don't feel 25, i don't act 25, and i certainly don't look 25, but here i am 25 years old and it just doesn't feel real. sometimes i wish i could just change the date on my birth certificate. apart from the disturbing reality that my age doesn't fit my life, i was also feeling pretty low...i wasn't where i wanted to be, who i wanted to be, and with who i wanted to be with.
3. last year around this time i was in goa hanging out with the girls and boys. it was during this time that i made several life altering decisions including that i wanted to move to india and live and work there longterm. that arranged marriages just weren't going to be my cup of tea. that my being able to adjust to life over there was God's confirmation that He really had called me and it wasn't my imagination. and the ways in which He provided for me strengthened my faith to know that my life was in His hands and that He wouldn't let me fall.
4. in my opinion, i've also matured a lot this year, made several deep rooted realizations that influenced the decisions i made, including the ones mentioned above. it was a period of letting go of preconceived notions and constantly feeling the need to humble myself. i added the 'in my opinion' earlier because every step that i thought i was taking forward, everyone else saw as a step backward. and even though it feels right now like the dream that i was fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of, has faded into the background, i believe that God is still at work and i still hope.
I like. I hate.
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I like working out. I like sleeping. I like eating. I like watching movies.
I like hanging out. I like being productive in studying. I like reading. I
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My brother and I were discussing that it's funny how in Malayalee churches I'm still thought of as part of the "youth" even though I'm 25 and most of our parents had left their homes or started careers and other things of adulthood when they were 25. Well, happy belated birthday! Welcome to 25!
I think in Malayalee culture you're still a "youth" if you are not married.
Its funny. I'm 25 - sometimes i dont feel it like it & feel young and at certain times i feel more "womanly" and older. My parents already had their masters degree, married and I was already born.
I'm still finishing my degree and not married. With malu community, having a boyfriend who is NOT indian makes you weird. But my parents are okay with it.
Happy birthday Benita.
bear: so true! i was saying that to my mom the other day and she was like "it's not about your age, it's about your maturity" and i was making the point: well, how is one supposed to mature and learn when you're overprotective and afraid to "let go"?! anyways, thanks for the wishes :)
indu: true as well. at my age, my mom was finished her masters, married, and had both me and ashish. crazy how things change aye?
on a side note: why is it that anything resembling me making my own decision about something is seen as rebellion?
To beni, well - the real question is whose perception?
People like to give advice even on matters they have no stinking clue about. Some people want to "fix" others because they want to feed their superiority complex. Its because they are insecure and have the problem.
Theres something about a new graduate that draws attention from crazies. I had people advice me to go into youth ministry or full-time ministry instead of pursuing my god-given calling in the public schools. I also had comments, "why do you want to get an MA in English?" why not journalism/business/accouting or whatever... And then my writing tends to be very edgy for churchg-goers so thats another can of worms.
Then there's the nitpicking. People who have NO idea about Oregon licensing try to authoritatively advice me on it. ummm HELLO, I've been in my program for 3 years and wouldnt i know it and BTW the state & my university wont give me my license if I'm not meeting those requirements. People can be silly. They dont realize how their pride makes them look.
Yet the same people will try to convince Ashish or anyone else away from ministry and to get a "secular" job.
Bottom line - its NOT you. People can be impossible and theres the superiority-complex thing to satisfy their insecurities. Its a borderline co-dependency as I call it.
Happy Belated birthday Beni! Atleast no one calls you aunty! I know a girl, who is the same age as me, called me an Uncle TONIGHT!!! God has a purpose for your life... but he will accomplish it in His Time!!!
umm. abe. maybe no one's saying aunty. but you were calling her MOLAY when she was in highschool. i think it's worse to be called molay by someone your own age than be called aunty at 25.
lol... that was like 10 years back!!! I kinda am OLDER than Beni... by like a whole 2 months!
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