Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy

It's officially the second day of summer and I'm lounging around at Walter's house eating frozen yogurt and reflecting on life. It's been close to two months since I arrived in Toronto and I think it's a good time to write, something I haven't had the chance to do quite as often as I used to. The transition to Toronto was amazingly smooth. Everything fell into place so perfectly and God's favor has been thoroughly evident throughout this whole process.

The course I'm doing is great. I'm really liking my classes and the sense that I'm doing what I want to do and what I'm meant to do is very much present. I'm learning a lot--about myself, about social service work, about life, etc. I love that I'm finally doing something and going somewhere with my life.

Staying at Walter's house was good to start with, but moving out has been part of the plan from the beginning. And so, Christine and I found a really great basement apartment right in the heart of Toronto downtown. Furnishing our new place has definitely been an adventure in and of itself. We found some great (and cheap) secondhand pieces and we rented a Uhaul a couple of times to transport our purchases across the city (yes, I drove it). Did I mention how much I love not depending on anyone else?

The job hunt is still on. But with how things have been working out, I'm not too worried about it. This morning, I had an interview with Beatrice House run by the YWCA which went really well and I'm happy to say that my placement (which is part of the program) is figured out. Thank you Jesus! Now I can devote all my time to looking for a paying job.

I love the city. I love independence. I love that I can make my own decisions. I love being away from everybody and everything and all the stress of trying to meet everyone's expectations. I love just living and being me and enjoying life. I love that I don't have to let anyone know where I am or tell anyone when I'll be home or ask for permission to do anything.

The last thing that needs to fall into place (other than a job) is that we need to find a good church. But I'll leave that to God, just like everything else.

Anyways, having said all of that, let me end by saying: I love life and this season I'm in! And truly, my God is faithful!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's a GIRL!!!

It's June 18th. My little sister's 18th birthday. I remember when my mom was pregnant with her and I'd pray everyday that God would make the baby a girl. When my mom went to the hospital that morning, I was still wishing for a little sister. And finally the news came that the baby was a girl and I remember being so happy and didn't have anyone to rejoice with so I was jumping up and down in front of the mirror pretty much going insane over the fact that God had blessed me with a baby sister. But yeah, my little baby sister is now all grown up and going away to college. So I just wanted to take a moment to say that...

Niki, you are a blessing and I wish you all the best as you go out "into the world." Always remember who you are and live up to those standards and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Love you loads! Happy birthday and have a blessed year ahead.

Beni

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Make It Stop

today would be a good day for the world to end, or for me to end in the world. don't want to face any more tomorrows.

just to clarify... i'm not suicidal. i'm scared shitless of going to hell. but doesn't life sometimes just become a grossly tedious affair?

it's all about who you know and what you have and how much you're worth and this constant struggle to "make it". whatever happened to simplicity. i wish stuff wasn't so damn complicated. ignorance isn't bliss and knowledge isn't power and no amount of money will ever be enough.

let's just say fml and call it a day yah?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Plans, Etc.

By this time next year, I would like to...

1. be able to support myself
2. complete the social service worker diploma program
3. obtain my life skills coach (training) certification
4. apply for jobs in the field of social work
5. apply to master's in social work programs
6. having done 4 and 5, wait for God to point me in the right direction
7. keep praying for india